Saturday, January 25, 2003

I have to vent, or I think I might explode. See, the people who I usually tell my problems too have lately been having problems of their own or don't really seem to care that I'm depressed all the time again. ^_^;; So, with a lack of people to talk to, I'll just put it on my blog which I will probably regret because I hate having the entirity of the internet world being able to read my brain's dirty laundry.

I've been thinking about killing myself a lot. Seriously, what's the point? I've just wasted 16 years of my life, now I get to join the workforce and do shit I don't like so I can grow old and die. There's no point. So, I'm thinking I should just get it over with. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate everything and nearly everyone. I just wish I was dead, but no cars seem to be willing to run into me at 50 miles an hours.

Okay, the end. I'm not ready to do anything yet.

Thursday, January 23, 2003

I had the specialest dream last night, involving Josh. Here goes my beautiful retelling of it:

I ws a little kid, running away from home. I decided to sit next to this red-head guy (who was Josh.) Some big drug dealer got onto the bus and Josh was trying to hide from him. Josh asked me if I could pretend to be his kid and he hoped that if he looked like a dad, the drug dealer guy would not pay attention to him. So I was all "DADDDY!!" and pretended to be his kid.

When Josh got off the bus, I decided to follow him. And he was all, "hey, kid! You can't follow me." And I was all, "You can't leave me, DADDY!" And Josh was all, "u_u Fine whatever," and he took me to his apartment where he secretly planned to call child services and have them come pick me up. But when I found that out, I glomped onto his leg and was like "Please don't let them take me back! ;_; " and he saw all the bruises on my neck and decided to take care of me, since it was apparent my home life wasn't good.

Anyway, after that, Josh and I lived together in his cruddy apartment. He used me to pick up chicks like in "Big Daddy" and I skipped school a lot (even though I was really smart, I didn't like going to school). We had a lady who lived in the apartment down the hall when Josh who babysat me when Josh went out to work and she thought I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Eventually, he ended up meeting some blond chick and they were all cute on eachother.

The last thing I remember was deciding to walk to Safeway to get a gift for my Daddy (Josh). And then I woke up while wandering around Safeway looking for the perfect gift. (Which happened to have a section rather like Hallmark.)

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

When it comes to something as important as music, I must rally votes on my blog! I don't care if you live in Spokane, you must VOTE FOR THE CHILI PEPPERS. Or else they're gonna lose to P.O.D.!!! I dun like them and they only have one big song. *gaaaah* Peppers!! *waves a flag*