Thursday, November 16, 2000

*kicks blogger* Work, dangit!
On the Outside
Sheryl Crow
Lian's English Theme

Stick close enough to hear you say
"Do as the beautiful ones do"
Tore up my picture from it's frame
Just wanted to be one of you

Standing on the outside
Look in
Funny how you see the truth
But the feeling does come back to you

(s)He's crazy as anyone can be
That's what they say, they say of me
What wanting love can make one do
It isn't my fault
Heredity

Standing on the outside
Look in
State of gray, state of sin
Standing on the outside
Look in
Cannot feel a single thing
But the feeling does come back again

This morning feels like yesterday
And yesterday follows me around
Where do you go when no one cares?
6 feet under, under ground

Standing on the outside
Look in
State of grey, state of sin
Standing on the outside
Look in
Cannot feel a single thing
But the feeling will come back again

I can't tell if it's "look in" or "looking" but "look in" makes more sense. Oh yeah, and this song fits Lian so well it's scary. @_@
Page status:
The prologue of "deus ex" is all HTML and one of two artworks for the prologue has been done. I'd LIKE to get chapters 1 and 2 HTML and art-filled before launch of the "deus ex" site.

Wednesday, November 15, 2000

*kicks blogger* STOP EATING MY POSTS!
Well, here's an activity I've been meaning to do for some time now. Scan the sketches out of my math notebook. Anyway, first off, here's some cutesy sketches of mark. ^_^
SD Angel Mark
SD Mark

Now, as a special treat, here's some concept art for the prologue of "deus ex".
My idea for the pics on the profile page
A quick sketch of what the title page MIGHT look like
Some more art to go with the prologue
oh, and it's official! I've started work on the "deus ex" homepage. yup. oh! and lian's english theme is "standing on the outside" by sheryl crow. ^__^
Oh, and here's something else I learned. Apparently someone asked roomie if I was anorexic. -_-
*sigh* Today in class I learned that I am boring!
Behaviors that make people boring (I kid you not, I learned this in speech today)
1.passivity
2. tediousness (won't stop talking and the like)
3.distracting mannerisms
4. low affectivity (boring voice)
5. boring ingration (trying too hard)
6. seriousness
7. negative ego centricism (dwelling on the bad point of yourself)
8. preoccupation
9. banality (using dumb cliches)

Supposedly banality and negatie ego centricism are the most boring traits. Well, we all know what one of my favorite pastimes is. Negatie ego centricism here I come! Yup, I'm boring. *sigh*

Tuesday, November 14, 2000

Poe-chan thinks Lian is scary.... Maybe 'cause Gabby kissed him? Who knows.....
Musical Theme of the Evening: "Bad Dog No Biscuits"
Dunno why, it just IS!
Wee! My blood test came back all normal!
.... Which means that -I'm- the one making myself sick so often. I was suspecting something along those lines.... I love myself right now. -_-
What the HELL inspired that blog about the pregnant women? (you might ask) I got sick of people telling me, "That girl has NO business having a kid," when I told them who's baby shower I was going to. And they didn't even know her!
a rather analytical approach regarding the relationship between shi and lian
And why none of the title is in caps, I couldn't tell ya. ^_^;;
If none of you want to read my loooooong RP rambles, then skip this.
Let's jump back in time to Lian's childhood. He had a not nice family. In fact, his dad was rather violent towards Lian. (let's just say that he was an unwanted child).
Now, skip to the present....
Somehow or another, Lian ends up in the possession of Shi. (how'd that happen? ^_^;; wouldn't have been my fault....) Anyhow, somehow during this time Lian develops something that looks suspiciously like a crush on Shi. (shi isn't very nice to his "pets" *hee* does lian like s&m?)
Anyway, Lian goes about being his usual moody-depressed self, and Shi is enjoying messing with Lian's head. Lian totally denies having a crush on Shi. Well, after much teasing on my part (and a few accusation's on Shi's about matchmakers ^_^), we manage to convince Shi to spend some "alone time" with Lian in order for him to admit his "true feelings" for Shi.
And, much to my surprise, he did. Only, I don't think that it was what any of us were expecting. (especially Shi) See, it turns out that Lian DOESN'T have a crush on Shi, Shi just happened to remind him of his dad (both of them were rather sadistic and liked to take it out on Lian, among other things). So, Lian had been acting like an idiot around Shi because of that, not a crush!
(dang, my yaoi hopes are crushed!)
I really, really feel sorry for Lian at this point in time. His hope is that he can convince Shi to like him, in some kind of hope that he father actually once liked him. As Lian said, "I just wanted you to like me, that's all...."
Unfortunately, there is no hope. Shi as much as said that he'll never like Lian, the only thing he could do was hurt Lian. But at least he said he didn't want to be like Lian's father (as in he didn't really want to hurt Lian).
This leaves Lian with little hope but to try and win the affection of someone who's rather dead set against feeling anything towards Lian. (aside from a rather morbid fascination, but anyway) Why would he even bother? Since Lian doesn't know where his real dad is, I think he kinda wants to redeem himself in his father's eyes through Shi.
And Shi won't tell me what the heck he's thinking! (half of me suspects this is for Lian's sake)
Dang these dysfunctional families I make up, I think I have issues or something. @_@ *can't keep on one hand the kyara with dysfunct families which I RP*
Also, this adds a whole new layer of ICK to if anything DOES happen between Shi and Lian. Tho, I'm still kinda rooting that the two of them get the hook up (*avoids daggers from imouto*)
I could add a lot more to this discussion about free will and the force of our wills, but that'd be a big spoiled of "deus ex", so I won't. ^_^;; So there! *biiiii*

Monday, November 13, 2000

Artwork!
On the Outside Lian being outside. All the snowy stuff was added in PS, the rest I drew with primsacolor pen. I'm growing rather fond of those pens. (and it is NOT because they make me high. -_- )

Sunday, November 12, 2000

A small preview of "deus ex: the god project".

Chapter 5 "tragedy":
"Good morning class," the teacher after she finished. "Today I have the pleasure of introducing a new student."
A quiet mutter passed around the class. Not many people joined Manning Prep after the school year had started. Lian glanced up as a girl giggled, "Ooh, he's cute!"
He had black hair, parted down the middle which seemed to hang in his eyes more than anywhere else. His skin was the pale porcelain color most girl would have loved to possess. But the boy's most outstanding feature was his eyes -- a blue so brilliant, the looked to have been carved out of the sky. The boy smiled at the class, a calm, self-assured smile.
Lian dropped his pencil.
"Class, this is Gabriel Brinley. I hope you all make him feel welcome," she smiled at them.
Gabriel's eyes sought out Lian, and his smile took on an almost cruel turn.
"You may take the seat behind Kannel," she nodded down the aisle.
Lian could have sworn that they'd sat in the last row of the class. No one aside from Lian seemed to notice this discrepency. They always sat in the last row, why hadn't they today?
Musical Theme of the Evening: "Call me Call me" Steve Conte has a GORGEOUS voice! *drools*
Well, I just got back from my very first non-family invite baby shower. Meaning that this was not a family friend, but actually a friend. (Co-worker to be precise, but she's a nifty girl. ^_^)
Anyway, I just thought I'd say that it makes it a lot harder for me to point fingers at pregnant teenages and say, "What are YOU doing having a baby?" when I actually know someone who is. It's a lot tougher to take the higher ground and be condemning. She may not have the material goods that many of us assume necessary, but she does have a job and is working hard to graduate. Not only that but she LOVES that bean. ^_^
I guess what I'm trying to say is that people don't need our condemnation but our support.
I can't think of anything to blog. *gasp*
*glomps sempai* Neee, Shi-sempai, teach me how to sip tea evilly!
Lian: When did I say that I liked Shi? I don't like him, I hate him!
Firefly: Then how come you blushed so much when he looked at your drawings?
Lian: Uh...
Firefly: And how come so many of your drawings had him in them?
Lian: Uh.....
Firefly: And how come when he ignores you it annoys you so much?
Lian: Uh..... Because he creeps me out. -_-
Firefly: You're a hopeless mental case you know.
Lian: You made me up.